Authentic Donor Engagement in A World of Performance
- Pamela Ronka Maroulis, FAHP, CFRE
- Sep 24
- 4 min read
We live in a world where performance has become second nature. Political theater dominates headlines. Social media platforms overflow with curated images, filters and highlight reels. Even rituals like sorority rush, once simple traditions of belonging, have transformed into over-the-top spectacles meant to impress more than to connect. The cultural default is to outdo appearances—one filtered post, one staged event, one “look” at a time. As philanthropy professionals, we must pause and ask ourselves: Are we unconsciously replicating this same performance mentality when working with donors? The Illusion of Connection Platforms like TikTok, Instagram and Facebook have conditioned us to present carefully designed identities. What we share is rarely unfiltered reality. Instead, it is a projection of the story we want others to see. For Generation Z, this has become second nature, but even older generations have absorbed the habit of curating their lives. The problem is that in the pursuit of optics, depth is often lost. We become so concerned with how things look that we fail to ensure there is real substance beneath the surface. In philanthropy, this dynamic is particularly risky. Donors do not want to fund illusions—they want to invest in meaningful change.
Donors do not want to fund illusions—they want to invest in meaningful change.
They want to know that the stories they hear are true, that the impact they are promised is real and that the relationships they are building are rooted in something more than performance. Donors Know When It’s Real One of the most dangerous missteps a fundraiser can make is underestimating a donor’s ability to sense authenticity. Donors can smell insincerity—or, put bluntly, “BS”—a mile away. A glossy impact report with polished photos and buzzwords may create a short-term impression, but if the donor detects even a hint of exaggeration or spin, trust erodes. And trust, as we know, is the currency of philanthropy. In fact, according to the Give.org 2024 Donor Trust Report, only 22% of Americans report a high level of trust in charities, yet nearly 67% of donors say trust is “essential” before they will give.¹ These numbers are sobering. They remind us that authenticity is not just a value—it is a requirement for engaging donors meaningfully. Beyond the Optics: The Role of Authentic Engagement To meet this expectation, philanthropy professionals must resist the temptation to present only the “perfect” side of our organizations. Yes, it is important to celebrate successes and showcase impact, but it is equally important to be transparent about the realities. Donors respect honesty. They want to know when programs face obstacles, when a campaign falls short or when a hospital encounters financial headwinds. Many will lean in with greater support when they feel they are part of an authentic journey rather than being fed a manufactured narrative. The same applies on a personal level. Authenticity requires us to show up as real people. Too often, philanthropy professionals slip into a polished persona, rehearsed for every donor meeting. But real connection happens when we bring humility, vulnerability and sincerity to the conversation.
But real connection happens when we bring humility, vulnerability and sincerity to the conversation.
We must also remember that authenticity is rooted in relationship-based giving. That means asking donors about their passions before leading with organizational goals. It means discovering what legacies they want to leave, what makes their hearts beat and how our mission aligns with their purpose. Authenticity is not about performance—it is about presence.
Building Trust Through Authentic Practices Trust and authenticity are inseparable. In my past papers on trust, I noted that distrust is not just a philanthropic challenge; it is a societal one. In 2023, only 30% of people surveyed said they would provide help to someone who strongly disagreed with their views.² That number has probably increased in the last year as our communities become more polarized. Philanthropy can either add to the division by performing for appearances, or it can bridge divides through authentic connection. There are practical ways to live this out:
Treat donors as insiders. Invite them to be the first to hear about plans—both the exciting news and the challenges.
Engage with respect. Use language that honors partnership—“gift invitation” instead of “solicitation,” “philanthropic partner” instead of “donor.”
Show transparency. Share bad news along with the good and explain how the organization is pivoting. Donors appreciate honesty more than perfection.
Recognize loyalty. Celebrate donor-versaries and acknowledge long-term relationships.
Make it personal. Learn one meaningful detail about each donor—something beyond philanthropy—that shows you value them as whole people.
These practices are not performative. They are authentic. And when we commit to them, trust grows, relationships deepen and philanthropy thrives. A Call for Courage Of course, authenticity requires courage. It is far easier to default to performance, to present only the polished version of our organizations and ourselves. But the cost of performance is high: shallow relationships, fragile trust and missed opportunities for true partnership. By contrast, authenticity is demanding but rewarding. It asks us to peel back the layers of performance and resist the urge to outdo appearances. It requires us to create space for vulnerability, honesty and depth. In return, it offers us stronger donor relationships, greater credibility and a philanthropy practice rooted in integrity. We live in a cultural moment defined by filters, optics and theater. In a world of performance, our greatest responsibility—and our greatest opportunity—is to be authentic.
¹ Give.org Donor Trust Report 2024
² 2023 Edelman Trust Barometer
About the Author: Pamela Maroulis, FAHP, CFRE is President and Principal Consultant with Accordant, specializing in building relationships and helping donors support their passions. Pam can be reached at Pam@AccordantHealth.com or through LinkedIn.
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