Beyond the First Call: Turning Patient Experiences into Lasting Relationships
In my work with philanthropy teams, I often hear some version of the same concern: I understand why these calls matter, but what do I actually say when someone answers the phone? It feels a little like making a cold call because they are not yet in my portfolio or pipeline.
It is a fair concern, but this really is not a cold call. The patient has already intersected with the hospital in a meaningful way. They may have expressed gratitude directly, been referred by a clinician or been identified through another form of outreach. Still, calling a grateful patient can feel very different from calling an established donor. They may not know you, may not understand why the foundation is reaching out and may still be processing a deeply personal health care experience.
That is exactly why the first call matters so much. You are not calling to qualify a prospect or move someone quickly toward a gift. You are simply opening the door to a conversation, introducing the foundation, inviting them to share more about their experience and listening to what mattered most.
When we begin from that place, the call feels less like outreach to someone new and more like a natural extension of the patient’s connection to the hospital. It also feels more comfortable and authentic for everyone involved.
Begin with What You Know
Before picking up the phone, take a few minutes to prepare. This does not need to become a lengthy research exercise. I encourage philanthropy officers to use a simple approach:
What do I know about this patient and how they came to us?
What would I genuinely like to learn?
What are three natural ways I might begin the conversation?
Of course, we should only use information received through the organization’s approved grateful engagement process. We are not reviewing medical records or referencing diagnoses and treatments. We are simply holding enough context to make the outreach thoughtful and personal.
Preparation helps, but the real shift is in our mindset. Instead of thinking, I am calling a stranger, try reframing it: I am calling someone whose life intersected with our mission. That small change can make all the difference.
Let the Patient’s Experience Lead
A good opening does not need to be perfect or overly polished. It simply needs to be genuine. The reason for the outreach may vary, so begin with what you know and avoid assuming how the patient feels about their experience.
A good opening does not need to be perfect or overly polished. It simply needs to be genuine.
If the patient has already expressed gratitude, you might say:
“Hello, Mrs. Taylor. This is Susan with the [Hospital Name] Foundation. I wanted to personally thank you for sharing such kind words about your experience with our team. I would love to hear more about what stood out to you. Is now an okay time for a brief conversation?”
If the patient has not yet expressed gratitude, you might begin more openly:
“Hello, Mrs. Taylor. This is Susan with the [Hospital Name] Foundation. I’m reaching out to learn a little more about your experience with our hospital and what stood out to you. Is now an okay time for a brief conversation?”
Both approaches let the patient know who you are and why you are calling without making assumptions or placing pressure on the conversation. Just as important, asking whether it is a good time gives the patient a choice and begins the relationship with respect.
From there, follow their lead. You might ask:
What part of your experience stands out most?
Was there a person or moment that made a particular difference?
How has your experience shaped the way you feel about the hospital?
What would you want another patient to know about the care you received?
You do not need to ask every question or move through them like a script. Choose one that feels natural, listen carefully and let the patient’s response guide where the conversation goes next. Gratitude may already be present, or it may emerge as the patient shares their story. Either way, your role is to create the space for an honest and meaningful conversation.
Listen for the Story
When we give patients the time and space to talk, they often begin to tell their story. This is where the conversation can become especially meaningful.
Stories help patients put words around what they experienced and recognize the people who made a difference. They also help our physicians, nurses and other caregivers understand the lasting impact of their work.
Sometimes the best response is simply: “That sounds like such an important moment. Would you tell me a little more about it?” Then pause.
We can be so focused on finding the right next question that we forget the power of simply being present. A pause, a change in tone or a longer answer often tells us that we have moved from gathering information to understanding what the experience truly meant.
Consider one recent example. A patient had shared her story through the hospital's employee newsletter, creating an opportunity to reconnect with the physicians who had cared for her. When the philanthropy officer followed up, she encouraged the patient to share how she was doing and what reconnecting with her physicians had meant to her. Rather than assuming the relationship had moved beyond discovery, she recognized that there was still more to learn about the patient's experience, what mattered to her and whether she wanted to stay connected.
The conversation also created an opportunity to connect with the physicians. By sharing the patient's story and thanking them for the difference they had made, the philanthropy officer could begin building those relationships, too. The physicians had a chance to hear the impact of their care, and the patient had an opportunity to express her gratitude directly.
This is what makes thoughtful grateful patient engagement so valuable. It creates meaningful connections in both directions, often in ways we could not have anticipated. With the patient's permission, these stories can also be shared back with the physician or care team. That simple act strengthens the relationship between the foundation and clinicians while reminding everyone why this work matters.
Be Ready for the Unexpected
Not every conversation will unfold easily. A patient may still be in treatment, grieving a loss or carrying concerns about their care. Someone may ask directly, “Are you calling to ask me for money?”
The best response is an honest one: “Our foundation does support the hospital through philanthropy, but that is not why I am calling today. I really wanted to learn more about your experience and say thank you. There is no ask today.”
If the patient raises a concern, listen without becoming defensive or trying to redirect the conversation. Acknowledge what they have shared and offer to connect them with the appropriate patient experience team.
Not every call will lead where you expected, and that is okay. The most important thing is to meet the patient where they are, listen with empathy and respond in a way that honors their experience.
The most important thing is to meet the patient where they are, listen with empathy and respond in a way that honors their experience.
Choose the Next Right Step
As the conversation closes, think about the next right step, not the biggest step. Perhaps the patient would enjoy receiving an update about a program. Maybe they would welcome a tour, another conversation or the opportunity to thank a caregiver.
Sometimes the right next step is simply asking permission to stay in touch: “Based on what you shared, would it be helpful if I sent you an update about that program?” Small, thoughtful follow-up builds trust. And trust is what allows a relationship to grow over time.
Grateful patients are not a pipeline. They are people whose lives intersected with our organizations in a meaningful way. When we approach them with genuine curiosity, authentic gratitude and a willingness to listen, we honor that intersection. You do not need to have the perfect words. You simply need to mean them.
About the Author:
About the Author: Susan Attwell, CFRE, is a Principal Consultant with Accordant. You can reach her by email at Susan@AccordantHealth.com or by connecting through LinkedIn.
